Is it right for my 15yr old daughter's golf coach to text her at night privately?

My daughter is open about the texting. She does think it is kinda wierd. She really likes the coach. However, i asked her if she is the only one that he texts and she said yes. From what i have seen or heard of the texts they are like inspirational or affirmations that she is a great person. I am just not sure how professional this is and why is she the only one of the athletes that is gettting privately texted off hours and even on Sunday nights.

Also, this coach has given her two REALLY nice golf clubs.Is it right for my 15yr old daughter's golf coach to text her at night privately?You need to be careful.



It is true that sometimes people have good intentions, but they end up expressing themselves in an inappropriate way.



I don't think you should jump down the coach's back just yet.



First, you should inform your daughter that she needs to be very open with you about everything the coach says and does. If he pats her on the back after practice, everything. Make sure she knows that if he begins to step over boundaries, she needs to alert you ASAP. Make it clear that you don't believe she's done anything wrong and that you believe he has good intentions.



Secondly, make sure your daughter saves EVERY text message she receives from him. If she's already deleted the ones so far, tell her to start keeping them. Don't tell her it's for future prosecution if the need arises, just tell her that you need to see each and every one of them. Don't rely on what she tells you.



It is scary, but sex offenders have very sneaky ways of getting even the most intelligent of children to comply and keep quiet about things that go on. They also have ways of convincing the child that the things they are doing aren't wrong. Your daughter needs to watch out for things he might say, such as things like "Even if you told your parents, they wouldn't care because it isn't wrong." Things like that.



Next, I would talk to the coach. Go see him privately, in person, and ask to speak with him alone. Request that he please stop text messaging your daughter. Make it clear that you do not believe that anything suspicious is going on, but that you have a duty to protect your daughter and you just don't see how these special text messages are going to do her any good. Be open with him about your fears about what these text messages could lead to.



Also, make it clear that if you ever have a sneaky suspicion, you will not hesitate to contact higher school board authorities, and you will not have a problem pursuing a court case if the need arises. He needs to know that you don't feel like the attention he gives your daughter is appropriate and that you are serious in your hopes that it will discontinue.



So, the jist of it is: Be open and clear with your daughter, and speak to the coach privately about the matters.
Ok...here is what I would do.



Contact some of your daughter's team-mates parents. Find out for SURE that she is the only one being texted, as this could totally change the tone of your situation.



If your daughter is, then I have a HUGE red flag that she is being "targeted" for something.



Yes, coaches do invest in their good players...however, this sounds a little more emotionally invested than just wanting her to keep her chin up...it sounds like he may have inappropriate feelings for her...and you both are absolutely correct in questioning this behavior.



Keep the texts for future reference and I will pray you never need them!Is it right for my 15yr old daughter's golf coach to text her at night privately?As a female who has experienced sexual assault while in middle school form a teacher, I strongly believe that you should keep an eye on your daughter and her coach's relationship. It's a fact that most predators prowl on males and females who they feel that they can control or have power over. And him being her teacher may possibly be fueling this feeling. I am not saying that he is fiending for her but you should ensure that you know the status of the situation at all times. Because it only takes a spark to start a fire. Also being that you have some uncomfortable feelings about the situation could be a sign that you should put an end to this situation. ***Mother Intuition is never wrong***
No! Get a copy of Gavin deBecker's The Gift of Fear and read it ASAP! Your daughter's coach sounds very much like a sexual predator. They're not all violent. Many use indebtedness (the golf clubs), charm, etc. to weasel their way into their target's life.

If this is someone involved with your daughter's school, report him to the school administration. If you have the means to do so, keep track of the texting and try to save the messages. Above all, get your daughter out of the situation. Now.Is it right for my 15yr old daughter's golf coach to text her at night privately?Totally NOT OK !!! Have a tallk with the coach.
You really need to step in . Your the father and you can put a stop to this now before something happens to your daughter. There are some really sick people out in this world. If I were you I would take your daughters phone from her at night around 9. The next time he text her you text him back or call him . You need to let her golf coach know your not comfortable with him texting her and being that friendly. You need to have your daughter give the really nice golf clubs back to him. Here is a web site you might want to take a look at http://www.familywatchdog.us/ .
Sounds like you need to report your coach to his supervisor. It is highly inappropriate and sounds as if he is "grooming" her. Let me put it to you this way, if you have to question his behavior, then it is obviously wrong.
Did you really need to ask this question? Does your daughter's new golf coach do this?
No. You should first talk to your daughter, and then to both of them together. You are her parent, and you need to know what she is up to. She is a teenager, and that is a vulnerable age. It may be innocent, and that she wants somebody else to talk to. But as a parent, you need to know whether it is innocent, or whether he is taking advantage of her
Not OK - request a transcript of the text messages from your provider and then present them to the principal of the school. Even if there is nothing inappropriate in the language, there is certainly something inappropriate about the timing. There is something that pedophiles do that is called "grooming" - it means that they slowly push the envelope (being nice and understanding, giving gifts, etc) until their intended victim is comfortable and then they make their move - and especially with teenage girls (who are constantly fighting for acceptance), they may think that this guy loves them and that it is a real relationship when in fact she is probably just one of many children he has preyed on.



Go with your instincts! If you think that something is not right, act on it. As a parent I would rather be wrong and have to apologize to the coach for accusing him than be right and have to explain to my child why I did not do everything in my power to protect her.
I think that if something was happening.you should saw it that your daughter was changed.Dint worry.
is the coach young? I automatically was going to write no, but if he is like 18 or something, then maybe its not so bad.



older than that........... IT IS NOT ALRIGHT
Do you think that is normal?? If you did why would you write yahoo questions??? THINK ABOUT IT!!!!
this is really not ok and is pretty creepy...i understand that he probably sees start qualities in your daughter, obviously if he gave her golf clubs and is sending her inspirations messages, but if he really wants her to know her potential he should speak to you. i remember my male basketball coach would talk to me AND my parents about my potential and that i was really good and what not, but he would talk to me along with my parents about what i should do...but this is unprofessional for him to be contacting her especially if he's only contacting her...i think you should speak to him that you don't really appriciate the text messages bc it give you the wrong idea about his true intentions
i'll be worried and i'm 17. Many of my managers at work use to use that excuse of texting to get closer or flirt with the girls at my job. Her golf coach figures texting shouldn't be an alarm because its not on the phone or in person. Especially midnight, i dont know seems to me a coach shall be pushing your daughter to study and go to bed for school not to stay up at midnight texting her. YOU SHALL BE WORRIED!
He needs to be reported before he tries more then texting.There are red flags all over this one.
not okay.. I had GREAT relationships with all my coaches. During the sport season I think I spent more time with the Coaches than my own family. But this doesnt seem right.. I know a coach might txt once in awhile.. but this jus doesnt seem right.. especially with the gifts. I would start to be leary of this guy. Make sure your daughter does not let her self be vulernable!. I think this is crossing the line. I would start asking to see the rest of the text messages, he should be sening inspirational text msgs to the rest of the team than too. I wish u the best of luck, be careful!
I surgest you leave her to it but make sure at the same time nothing wrong. Make sure her behaviour isn't particulary wierd but whatever you do DO NOT go through her phone. If you loose her trust she will not stay away from her golf tutor no matter what you do. She will hate you. DOn't mess it up. Be there for her and be gratefull that she is still open with you about that is always a good sighn.

He is doing nothing wrong but texting her and so what if they get into a realationship I mean he can't be that much older than her. Its no different to just some random boyfriend infact its probably better you have good access to him and his background he seems trustworthy and your daughter likes him and is OPEN about him. WHen people are open they have nothing to hide.
I Honestly Believe Something Is Fishy About The Whole Thing, Your Daughter May Not Think Anything Of It But I Think You Should Keep Your Eyes And Ears Open Just In Case.. We Could Be Wrong But I Don't See A Problem With You Keeping A Close Watch On Your Daughter With Her Age And All.. If You Being The Parent Feel That Its Inappropriate Then Say So And Put And End To It..
Call The Police....
I don't think it's right. She's the only one being texted? Is she the only receiving gifts too? It sounds like he's got a different agenda. He's using his mentoring skills to gain her trust. Your daughter also feels weird about it.



If I were you I would confront him and tell him that you don't appreciate her being texted. If he has anything inspiring to say that he should go through the family and call at the house. And also tell him that he shouldn't be giving her gifts as well.



This way he will know that your on to him.
No I am a volleyball coach and never call or text my players. If I have any schedule changes I call the parents if i have encouraging words for them I tell them at practice at the end of every season I do send all my players an email saying thanks for a great season give some things they did great at and tell them if they ever need anything they can call me. I am a girl coaching girls so this may be different but i think what he is doing is not ok.
i would talk to him if i was you, get his side of the story and if it doesnt seem right still i would get in touch with someone at the school
I would say this is not OK. I guess the only possibility of it being ok would be if she is the best player or something, but even then I would say he should stop this. I doubt she would be the one who needs to say something though. This may be one for Dad to address for her to keep her from being embarrassed or shunned. It needs to come from the parents.
Sounds a little fishy to me. . .
It's a little creepy. You need to talk to him and talk to your daughter.
hmmm ... sounds fishy to me. i would check this situation out big time .... or contact someone at the school . this isnt good at alll
It strikes me as a bit creep-ish....but perhaps there's very good reasoning in it? I doubt it but hey who knows you might have a female Tiger Woods on your hands.....its still kinda creep-ish to me though. I personally wouldn't trust it. Even if it is words of encouragement if your daughter is the only one getting them it should put serious questions in your mind.



There's a need for a bit more background info....how long has this been going on? Do they have a big thing coming up? (srry I don't do golf so I don't know the lingo) Is she in bad spirits maybe feeling down about something that she might have confided in either the coach or a friend of hers and the coach overheard?



Even if all of that were going on and this was only a last few days sort of thing the fact that she appears to be the only person he is sending these messages to still strikes me as a bit wonky. In your shoes I would have a nice (or not so nice) sitdown with her coach and find out what is going on. If I got a wonky vibe from him I would 1) report him for suspicious activity 2) get my daughter a new golf coach and 3) get my daughter a new cell phone number. But that's just me and I'm more than a little distrusting of most males as well as a firm believer in better safe than sorry.
you better watch out thats kinda suspicious
i think you should talk to her coach. i mean because it might be alright to say hey and bye...but not after hours. he might seem like a good coach but things are not the same as you think.
m im not sure about that it sounds kinda creepy wait that is creepy i think that in a polite but really concerned way you should confront him about it and aks him what his answer to that question is because no its not professional unless may be she was older way older and it was professional advice but shes fifteen so ya confront him